again?
I just dont like the fact that I can’t really act the way I want to be. I am not entirely honest with myself.
As much as I dont want to walk the same path… well, it seems like I am still treading the same road. Because I am such a chicken shit. I am not brave… I am never courageous enough to face the real thing. So I retreat and still choose the same path because I am familiar with it. Because I guess that familiarity won’t hurt much compared to what is new.
I have to muster all my courage and get myself together to charge into this… to clear this mess up. I cant be like this forever.
So the best thing I could do is overcome my being scaredy-cat and my paranoia… Well, I am scaring myself too for being too paranoid.
I just need to get myself together first so I can really spit all of it out. So that I may learn to live in the moment and not what is not there yet.
