pain
Once I told one of my classes that life is actually simple… It’s just that we often make things complicated. We oftentimes make a hole out of a dot. Tonight’s episode of Grey Anatomy’s was all about why we make life complicated. I dont know the exact reason why we do such thing… Even if one wishes for a simple life, he still does something that will get him entangled in several problems.
What is a simple life anyway? Is it really free from pain, complications… and sufferings? How would I know, I never gave myself a simple life. I always make things difficult for myself. I am not being a masochist for choosing this… Perhaps, i chose this and that because I want to prove something to myself… to live with my idealism. Oh yeah right, Idealisms! What idealism am I trying to live with? To make a difference in this world - the overrated idealism. How can I make a difference? By teaching young people… who dont even care to listen to me most of the time… whom I have to remind for the nth time to go back to their seats and keep quiet… who thinks they own the world… they are the boss. How I wish… I could do something about it… I know, I know I can do something about it… and I am looking for that way.
Sometimes, i think I have chosen the easiest way to die… I am dying each day. So what am I proving anyway? That I can die too… and thats the hardest part to realize… that I am actually dying. (my light is dying… )
(this too shall pass, I know… Things arent working well as of the moment… and I feel like I just banged my head on the wall. So much for "ideal" choices… so am I taking everything back? I still have seven months to decide.)
