backwards

So it’s about six hours away from my birthday (I was born at 5am on October 22, 1980). There’s no need to fuss over getting older again. It is, anyway, a yearly thing that you can’t stop from happening. My birthday just allows me to look back and reflect on the past and contemplate on the future.

So what have I done for the past 25 years? And what do I want to do now that I am 26? These are the questions that I am trying to ponder on at this hour. So many things have happened these past few days and weeks… some of those things are helping me to decide on the next step. Some, though, still leaves me in limbo and in confusion.

I guess, for now, I shouldn’t think about those things that make me confused… Instead I’ll just dwell on the things that make me happy… and give me valuable realizations and lessons.

In this life we get only those things for which
we hunt, for which we strive, and for which we are willing to sacrifice. - George Matthew Adams

This is one is a good listen… Ang galing ng pagkasulat.

MakeDamnSure by TBS
I just wanna break you down so badly.
Well I trip over everything you say.
I just wanna break you down so badly.
In the worst way.

My inarticulate store bought hangover hobby kit.
It talks, it says, "You, oh, you are so cool."
Scissor shaped across the bed, you are red, violent red.
You hollow out my hungry eyes.
You hollow out my hungry eyes.

And we lay, we lay together just not,
Too close, too close. (How close is close enough?)
We lay, we lay together just not,
Too close, too close.

I’m gonna make damn sure that you can’t ever leave.
No, you won’t ever get too far from me.
You won’t ever get too far from me.

This could mean the person is obviously so hung over someone… but it could be seen positively, you know… not in the stalker-kind-of-way.

Wah, too bad we didnt watch any movies included in the Spanish Film Festival. Sold-out na ung tickets for the 730pm and 9pm films. Di naman kami pwede manood ng 12mn film kasi may work next day si Rosary. So Saturday night was spent eating at Mongkok and Icebergs. Pigout night… with etchos and ng rhea, sprinkled with funny and light stories. Matagal na rin kami di nagkita-kita, i am out of reach kasi.

Then today, I also got together with Jen and her husband. It was my first time to see Jen months after we last saw each other. Malaki na tyan nya… Tapos eto i am trying to finish checking the test papers of my students… 5 sections kasi and that means over 200 students.

Break… I am doing pages for NLP right now. And while I was so fully focused on rewriting an article, I suddenly jumped out of the chair. Walanghiya, tinakot ako ng kapatid ko. Creepy kasi eh, bigla ba naman tumayo sa likod ko. Akala ko tinatakot na naman ako… Last week kasi lagi na lang may parang nakikita ako. Ayan tuloy nawala yung focus ko… My brother really scared me out of my wits…  Hay… dapat matapos na ako… maaga pa ung agreed meeting time namin for the seminar. 6am naman…

Recommended Playlist: http://webjay.org/by/kiss_my_chucks/musicatit5c27sbest_ (if you are into punk, emo… pop-synth)
Must listen: Armor for Sleep’s Car Underwater, The Faint’s Glass Danse (ganda nito), Cursive’s songs, and Shiny Toy Guns’

My latest stress reliever - http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/80c11/. It’s the closest thing to scrapbooking, IMO. Join virtualtourist.com. This site offers information for a wide range of travel destination…

Book update:

Just finished "The Smoke Jumpers" by Nicholas Evans, "Animal Farm" by George Orwell, "Missing Pieces" by Joy Fielding, and "Step-Ball Change" by I forgot the writer.

Among the four, "Animal Farm" topped my list, followed by "Missing Pieces." "The Smoke Jumpers" has a weak story… It didnt have the same effect as "The Horse Whisperer."

I also recommend reading Judy Blume’s "Summer Sisters."

Music: Just stumbled into this band in one of my students’ profile. Jared Leto (yes, the actor who catapulted to fame through the TV series "My So-Called Life") has a band… not only a plain band, but a worth-checking-out, progressive rock band - Thirty Seconds to Mars… because the band actually comes up with good songs. JLeto is the lead vocalist. Didnt really expect that…

nway, if you want to check out their songs, go here

I won't suffer,be broken,get tired,or wasted,surrender to nothing,or give up.What I started and stopped it from end to beginning.A new day is coming,and I am finally free.

-ATTACK, 30 seconds to mars

Indeed it is not my usual weekend… as I did something that I thought I cant do and that is watching a movie in a theater all alone. I wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to watch "Good Bye. Lenin!" at Shangrila Mall on Saturday afternoon that I pulled off this "stunt." It wasn’t so bad after all… The cinema was not a scary place even if you are just watching a movie alone. I guess sitting beside a woman who loves to sort of talk to herself during the movie makes it an unscary experience. I didnt entirely feel like I was all alone as I (lazily and hurriedly) chose a seat between two occupied ones. And besides you’ll forget you are alone because the movie was good. The only time that I remembered I was alone was after the movie… I have no one to discuss the good points and the weak points of the film… which parts do I like… stuffs like that. But overall, I kind of like being alone… even after the movie, I get to eat alone… walk and reflect on things alone. Just being alone… could be a good thing. Most of my weekend, anyway, is spent hanging out at home, watching cartoons with my cute nephew who could be a pain at times… cleaning the house. I guess, i am getting a glimpse of my future life if I ended up to be like this forever. Hehe…

Anyway, I just realized the movie Ive watched and the book that Ive just finished reading have something in common. Both of which touched socialism… I just realized, thats it.

Then after days of slow Internet connection, things are picking up well… I get to see the season 2 premiere of Beauty and the Geek on youtube.com. It was Jolan who told me about this show… and indeed it’s kind of an interesting show. Too bad, there are no other episode uploaded.